Book Review: Better Dads, Stronger Sons

We fathers have a lot cut out for ourselves these days.

The world often says that you’re irrelevant or at least you’ll be consigned to a secondary role to the mother, but when it comes to children they really do need their fathers. Just check out our prison population — full of angry, young men who were raised without good male role models.

As a father of boys, I understand that I pattern much of the behavior that they’re seeking to follow, and for them I’m a real life specimen of what a man should be. Sometimes those ideas make me shudder!

Fathering In The Sight Of God

For Christian dads, we know that raising our boys in the sight of Jesus Christ is where its at, but we’re not always confident that we can take on this role all by ourselves (we can’t). We may find ourselves looking for practical ways to demonstrate to the young males in our lives character building habits that they can take with them when they’re grown and out on their own, but we can also doubt our abilities to lead.

Rick Johnson addressed many of these fatherly concerns in his book, “Better Dads, Stronger Sons,” which was published by Revell Books in 2006. I just finished reading my copy and came away with some tips which can help me be a better father to my two young boys.

God’s Design For The Family

The sub-title of Johnson’s book is, “How Fathers Can Guide Boys to Become Men of Character,” a good primer of what the author has in store for readers of his twelve chapter study. Before he tackled what being a father is all about, Johnson discussed what manhood really is and why being a man is so important in upholding God’s design for the family.

Certainly, most feminists would cry “foul” when reading on page 19 that, “God created men to be the leaders in our families, homes, communities — the whole earth,” but a role assigned by God cannot be overturned, only forfeited (emphasis mine). Most Christian dads that I know understand the vital role that they are patterning for their children and are eager to embrace what God has shown them. Sure, manliness is risk taking and role modeling, but it goes beyond that — being a dad is truly dying to yourself!

Broken Homes, Broken Lives

Johnson’s experience as a dad isn’t one built on a wonderful childhood. In fact, he was raised in a home with a stepfather, along with other siblings, a man who was a real terror to the children. By the time the author grew up, he buried most of his feelings and was inadequately prepared to parent when he became a dad. In Johnson’s case he came to know the Lord a number of years after his son and daughter were born, having to unlearn a lot of negative behavior and learn much about what it means to be a dad.

Oftentimes, it is our past that dictates how we will be as fathers, and Johnson thoroughly covered those foundational principles in the third chapter of the book.

Treating Women With Respect

Some of the key points the author raised in his book was learning how to bond with your son and recognizing that you’ll make mistakes as you parent him.  Key to the equation is how a man treats his wife — boys notice everything and they’ll quickly pick up patterns of behavior that they’ll bring into their relationships with women. Chapters discussing respect and sex, two powerful components of marriage were discussed, as was role modeling/mentoring and leaving a legacy.

As I was reading Johnson’s book certain aspects of my own relationship with my long-departed dad came up, underscoring to me several things that I missed as a boy. When you don’t connect to your father, you’ll connect to other things, poor substitutes for the vital role of fathering. Then again, I remembered my father having a similar weak relationship with his dad, something I don’t want to see carried to the next generation.

Building Confidence For The Future

Whether you’re confident about being a father or not, Johnson’s book provides the tools we can all use to be a better dad. With God’s help and by acknowledging our own humility, we can become the fathers our sons need, even if our boys are well on their way to becoming men.

The world may never embrace such concepts, but as Christian fathers we need to impart to our boys the tools he’ll need to stand against the world, the flesh, and the devil.

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